Babysitting
by Wacky Walnut
Summary: Marlene and Denzel get stuck looking after the next generation of kids. Starting with The Valentines!


Babysitting

**Babysitting**

Disclaimer: Wish I could say I owned FFVII but unfortunately I can't cause I was eleven years old when it came out so definitely no. It all belongs to Square and not making any money from this at all

Authors note: This is a very strange one shot – may go further if I get reviews – that popped into my head when I went on a spate of writing fanfiction one day. It involves older Marlene and Denzel and a few OC kids I came up with.

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Babysitting

The Valentines

Denzel knew that there was going to be trouble the second he reached the end of his road. It had been a pretty good day, he had gone into town to do some shopping, helped out with a couple of deliveries, caught up with some of his friends and even managed to get an offer of a job at a mechanic's not to far away. But he just knew that it was too good to last and with the unmistakable figure of Vincent sitting on the steps to Seventh Heaven, the seventeen year old knew this was going to be extremely bad. Stepping to the side, in the hope that Vincent hadn't spotted him yet, he pulled out his PHS and dialled Marlene's number.

"Hey, where the hell are you?" came the clipped voice that suggested the fifteen-year-old was up to her teeth already and it was only just coming up to five thirty.

Denzel cursed, "End of the road, whose there tonight?"

"The brat and Vincent's lot…get off that!" she shrieked before sighing, "You better get home before they tear the place apart"

"Can't Vincent do something about them?" Denzel asked, scuffing his way along the street.

There was a snort from Marlene, followed by some punter shouting for her, "Not when he's banned from the kitchen. Please just get here quick!" and with that she hung up.

Rolling his eyes skyward, Denzel made his way to the bar and fixed Vincent with a glare to which he received a blank expression from. By now he was pretty used to this, as it seemed that Vincent only had three readable expressions which were blank, extremely pissed off or asleep. "How did you get banned from the kitchen?" he asked in mock irritancy, already feeling a headache coming on.

Contemplating things for a few seconds, Vincent shrugged, "Apparently you're not meant to use metal kitchen appliances on a non-stick pan"

"What? You idiot…" Denzel shook his head, groaning before heading up the steps, "Could you have at least chosen a time when I had not had a bad day. Oh and where's Yuffie?"

He refused to call her Auntie Yuffie because it sounded wrong and also gave the princess a little more ego. No one wanted that at all, even after giving birth to three kids she still acted like some hyperactive teenager. There was just no changing some people.

"Gone shopping with Tifa…hence why I'm out here and Marlene's getting more than annoyed. You better hurry up" said Vincent, turning away to hide his smirk.

Denzel sighed and pushed open the door to Seventh, "You could at least help. Oi! You two, stop hassling the customers!"

Two pairs of identical red eyes looked up at Denzel before two equally massive grins appeared and consequently glomped the teenager down on the floor with squeals. Literal squeals at that. Marlene tried not to chuckle as she wrapped a metal spoon on the counter, "Mathias! Juno! Get off him this instant!"

The twins grinned, still wrestling to hold Denzel to the floor but not having much luck as the older boy stood up and dragged both into a tight hold – at arms length and dangling a couple of feet of the ground, "Can't get off him when he's holding us!" said Juno, her black hair sticking up at stupid angles due to some unidentifiable source whilst Mathias looked as though he had gone through a hedge backwards. Knowing these two it was probably literal as well.

"Why are you two out here? You know you're not allowed in the bar area" he scolded but could already feel them draining any sort of energy out of him. The thing with the Valentine twins was that they were always hyper, worse that Yuffie on a sugar high (he still had nightmares about that day) and seemed to show absolutely no regard for anyone but themselves. They were loud, annoying and never did what they were told. They got messy, even when they were locked in a room where it was impossible to get messy and had a knack for getting past even the most trained person it the world. Even Vincent apparently had trouble looking after the two tearaways but from what Marlene and Denzel had seen, they were meek little kittens around Daddy.

Marlene shook her head, hiding her eyes with a cloth, "I don't know how the beggars managed it. I even used materia on the door to keep it locked and they still got out" she sighed and let Denzel through the hatch to get the struggling pair into the back, "It's a miracle they didn't run off like last time"

"That's cause Daddy's outside on the steps" muttered Denzel, dropping the twins to the ground but quickly grabbing the back of their shirts to stop them running off, "Where's?"

"In the living room, watching telly or drawing or something. At least they're being quiet for once" sighed Marlene, "Oh and Mum's gone shopping with Yuffie"

"Knew that…Mathias!" shot Denzel, managing to effectively grab hold of the boy's hand before he could get at the glasses in the cabinet whilst also roping Juno around the middle to hold her sideways, "What about Dad?"

"Both promptly disappeared when they realised what was going on. I think they're collecting Vincent later but I'm not exactly sure…get them two in the back will ya?" sighed Marlene, pouring out a drink and handing it to a regular customer, "Before they drive away all the business"

With a nod, Denzel somehow managed to drag the twins into the living room and dump them down on the sofa which creaked with their weight. "Hey Uncle Denzel!" yelled Mathias, "Can we watch a movie?"

"Yes as long as you stay put and don't disturb anyone…where's you're sister?" Denzel cast his eyes around the room and quickly spotted Lunar, the eldest of the Valentine brood, sitting at the futon with her usual assortment of colouring pens and a very interested Juno hovering around. Denzel knew the look that the nine year old was giving her six year old sister and quickly moved to intercept.

"Come on Juno, you pick a nice quiet movie for you and Mathias to watch" he pushed her in the general direction of the DVD cabinet before looking down at Lunar with a quizzical expression. Out of the Valentine's she was the quietest, with a good nature and usually a good sense of humour. Something was off today and the lack of Marcel told him all that he needed to know, "Where is he?" he sighed.

Lunar shrugged, "Moping at the top of the stairs…no idea as to why" and went back to her drawing.

Denzel sighed and turned to find the twins sitting of the sofa, big cheesy grins on their faces with an assortment of DVD's to watch. He sighed at the titles, they would be bouncing off the walls later but anything to keep them still for five minuets was worth that sort of treatment. "Fine, you can start with this" he randomly picked up one and shoved it in, "Now just please stay here whilst I go and talk to Marcel…don't annoy your sister or Marlene. Understood?"

"Yes Uncle Denzel!" they chorused behind snickers, but he was saved by the movie starting and quickly he headed to find his younger brother. As per usual Marcel was in a huff, he was too young to be in a strop or mood, and Denzel mentally braced himself for whatever it was that had caused it this time. He swore at times that Marcel spent more time brooding than Cloud, at least his Dad had a reason to be like that but Marcel most certainly didn't. He was glad that he would probably be moving into his own place soon and wouldn't have to put up with the constant stroppy teenager that Marcel was liable to turn out to be.

Though he would have to make sure there was room for Marlene, he couldn't leave his little sister out in the cold like that.

Surprisingly Marcel wasn't at the top of the stairs where Lunar said he was, the pair were best friends and could practically read what the other was thinking half the time, but Denzel knew where to locate the ten year old. Opening the door to the linen closet, he glared at the boy who managed to at least look surprised for being found so easily and dragged him out before he could attempt to close the door. "All right, what's the reason this time?"

Marcel clamped his mouth shut and shook his head, not daring to look into Denzel's eyes. "Marcel" Denzel had to tone down the growl that was threatening to come out of his throat, "What's wrong?"

"She said no" the boy muttered, trying to hide behind his dark spikes and not succeeding.

Denzel had to frown at this comment; it was not the usual sort to come from the boy at all. Normally his huffs were something to do with failing a test or else not getting picked for a team but someone saying no to him? Particularly a girl at that…he stared blankly at the wall for a second, "Who?"

"A girl" was the response which was not helpful in the slightest. Denzel wanted to yell but glanced down the stairs to see Lunar at the bottom, looking up with her rose coloured eyes. Well it wouldn't be her, if they had a fight it would be still going on, so that could only mean one thing.

"Oh you asked someone out on a date?" Denzel asked, kneeling down but keeping half-an-eye on the events downstairs. If Lunar wasn't watching the twins then something could go wrong at any second.

Marcel nodded, head managing to hang even lower than normal if that was at all possible, "She said no"

Denzel shook his head, "Dude, you're only ten years old for god sakes" he chided his brother, ruffling the spikes, "don't start worrying about girls until you're at least fifteen okay? They're more hassle than their worth…when it comes to that sort of stuff" he added quickly, aware that Lunar had just shot him one of her death glares.

"But she was really…" Marcel started before spotting Lunar himself and smiling. The pair shared some sort of silent conversation before Marcel trooped off happily down the stairs, already forgetting the cause for the strop. He would have to learn that trick one day.

Shaking his head, Denzel was about to head back down when he heard a thump from one of the back bedrooms. He paused and then slowly headed towards the door, knowing fine well that there were no rooms being let out at the moment. Reaching the door, he paused for a fraction of a second to confirm that there was noise behind it and then continued down the corridor as if to head to his own bedroom. Slipping off his shoes, he crept back and listened quietly; glad that Cloud's unintential stealth training had come in useful.

"How much longer are we going to have to stay in here?" came Vincent's muffled voice.

There was a hissing sound, followed by Barrett's voice in a whispered way but it was still pretty loud, "Just until Denzel goes back downstairs, and then we can skedaddle out of here"

"Will you both be quiet" Cloud's voice was virtually undectable but since it was such a small room Denzel could just make it out. He sat and wondered just what on planet they were doing in the storage cupboard – as well as trying to work out how the hell they had managed to actually fit all three of them in there – but decided that a little pay back was definitely in order. Hoping back to his feet and quickly making his way along to his room, he slipped inside and grabbed his keys from the draw.

Then opened the speaker tube that led to the bar, Cid had installed it a few years ago when his kids had stayed over. "Hey Marlene" he whispered as loudly as he dared.

"What?" came the reply, less irritated than before but slightly curious

"Do you have the keys for the spare rooms up here?" he knew that it was going to sound like a very strange question but he had to ask it. It would be the crux of his plan.

There was silence for a few seconds and the sound of keys jangling, "Yeah I got them, why?"

Denzel had to repress his desire to laugh, "I'll tell you when I get downstairs. See you in five"

Almost dancing in joy, Denzel slipped out of his room and headed towards the storage room door.

"What the hell is that kid doing?" grumbled Barrett, getting annoyed at being in such a cramped space

Vincent groaned, "He's a teenage boy, what do you expect him to be doing?"

Cloud closed his eyes and shook his head, he couldn't think of anyone in the world who was as useless at hiding in a storage cupboard than these two. Well actually there was someone else who had been appalling at hiding in any cupboard but he didn't really count anymore unfortunately. Still he bit back the bile and glared in the semi-darkness; "Shut up!" he hissed and thought he heard a click but held up a hand at was the unmistakeable sounds of feet going downstairs.

"Finally" he muttered under his breath and turned the handle to open the door. It didn't budge. Cloud frowned and pushed at the door only to find that it stuck firmly in place, "What the?"

"Hey Spiky, what's going on?" asked Barrett, frowning, "Get the bloody door open will ya?"

"I'm trying" commented Cloud, giving the door a good shove just in case but finding the wood would not even buckle, "It's jammed or something"

"Let me have a go" said Barrett, shoving the blond aside and trying the handle. It was the same result as before and a string of colourful language followed before he hit the door with his metal hand, "What the hell is going on here?"

"Have you locked us in?" asked Vincent, not in the least bit amused by the idea at all.

Cloud shook his head, "You can only lock it from…Denzel!"

The shout slightly startled his two cupboard mates but the laughter at the bottom of the stairs was undeniably Denzel and Marlene. The pair were virtually on the floor they were laughing so hard.

"Denzel! Marlene!" shouted Barrett, almost deafening Cloud and causing an unaccustomed wince on Vincent's behalf, "Let us out of here!"

"No! This is what you get for trying to sneak out of babysitting duties!" called Marlene, doing her best to intimidate Tifa's tone and almost succeeding.

"Yeah we may get the kids to give the keys to their mother when they get back" called Denzel, obviously failing in keeping his laughter in check, "But we'll see how willing they are to do that. See you later fellas"

"Denzel Strife! Marlene Wallace!" both Cloud and Barrett shouted at the exact same time, "You let us out of here right now!"

Vincent sighed and leaned back against the wall; how he had ever agreed to this plan he did not know. Hopefully Yuffie would be back soon with some way to entice the twins to give the keys back or it could be a very long day in here.

Lunar blinked at the keys and took them with a surprised look before grinning as Denzel ruffled her hair and sat down to watch the rest of the film with the twins. It seemed to be a good idea showing them a horror movie likes _The Thing _it froze them to the seat with terror.

Marlene grinned and went back to the bar, neglecting to tell her older brother that there were others on the way. Tifa and Yuffie were certainly going to come back to an interesting household later that night.

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Authors note: Like it? Hate it? Let me know okay.


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